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5 Lessons to Teach Kids About Body Positivity

teach kids about body positivity

Understanding and appreciating our bodies starts with acknowledging that everyone is unique. Learning how to teach kids about body positivity can be tricky; it’s hard to know how much or how little to say. You don’t want to put something into their brain that wasn’t there before, but you also want to promote an environment where differences in size, shape, and appearance are not just accepted but celebrated. There’s a fine line between saying too much and not saying enough.

Tweens and teens bodies are growing exponentially throughout puberty and into early adulthood. We can expect changes in weight and height during this time – it is a time of growth. Normalizing and offering a safe environment for your child or teen to discuss their experiences with these changes, social pressures and their perception or natural worries about their body are all important roles as a parent or adult role model. Body positivity for kids is about instilling the notion that bodies come in all forms, and this diversity is completely normal and what makes humanity beautiful. I’ll show you how to lay down that groundwork. You can also watch the recording of my “How to Raise Kids and Teens to Have A Healthy Relationship With Food And Their Bodies” Masterclass and get the resources from class here.

Lesson One: Embrace Body Diversity

It all starts with understanding that bodies come in all shapes and sizes. More than that, however, body positivity for kids is about showing them that someone’s size is neither good nor bad; it just is. We live in a world  where the media portrays unrealistic beauty standards. This can make it really hard for kids to learn how to appreciate their own bodies, especially if they don’t see them represented in the media. 

One way to navigate this is to bring body diversity into the household. That could be through the TV shows and movies you watch, the characters your kids see, and the type of content they consume.

For young kids, it may be helpful to introduce different types of dolls and playthings. The good news is that the media has started to take note. Disney recently introduced its first plus-size heroine in the animated short film “Reflect” and books like “Her Body Can” offer positive examples of body image for children. Showing kids that diversity is completely normal and what makes the world go ‘round may help quash negative body image thoughts before they start to form. 

Remember that children often model their behavior based on what they see and hear from adults and peers. Be a positive role model by never speaking negatively about your own body, discussing your diet or making negative comments about other people’s bodies – kids or adults! Adolescent’s and teen’s minds are like sponges and they will pick up on these things. The goal is acceptance first and foremost.

Lesson Two: Address Bullying, Teasing and Feelings of Shame

Bullying, teasing and shaming kids for their bodies can cause harm, isolation, and increase risk for eating disorders in the future. Children – and all people – deserve to feel safe in their bodies and it is an adult’s job to intervene if weight-shaming, bullying or teasing is going on.

“Your body is not wrong, their bullying is wrong.” Use this line as a reminder or affirmation if your child shares weight-based bullying or teasing with you. You can also ask for the names of the students and ensure this is carefully addressed with adults and the school.

As a parent or adult role model, think about how you can create a safe, non-judgemental and affirming home environment for your child or teen. I discuss this more with actionable examples in our masterclass recording. It can be hard to hear a child speak harshly about their own body and your natural reaction to a child’s comments of “I am fat” or “I don’t feel good in my body” might be to say something like “you’re not fat, you’re beautiful!” The subliminal message with this statement is that “being fat is bad” and the opposite of fat is beautiful – rather than that someone can be fat and beautiful, that fat people and people in all body sizes exist and are deserving of respect and that you’re open to holding space for your child’s feelings and what is coming up for them around their body right now. Ask questions like “tell me more about how you’re feeling in your body today”, “have you heard someone else talk about their body that way?,” “I’m sorry you’re not feeling good in your body right now. Is there anything I can do to help?”

Lesson Three: Get Real About Body Image

The media is filled with tons of images that promote unrealistic beauty standards. As adults, it’s our job to teach young people about not only what’s real vs. what’s a facade, but also about what truly matters.

Teach adolescents and teens that their worth is not determined by their appearance but by their character, kindness, and actions. Encourage them to celebrate their unique features and talents. Reinforce positive self-talk and if you hear their self-criticism or comments on their own or other people’s bodies, get curious and ask them more about what they mean by those comments and what they are feeling. Drive home the message that what really matters is what’s on the inside. 

There will also come a time when you have to address societal influences. This can be tough, but having an open conversation about the impact of media, advertising, and social media on body image perceptions could make a big difference if you start to see your kid struggling. Help them develop critical thinking skills to decipher unrealistic beauty ideals and understand that these portrayals don’t reflect real-life diversity. Make sure they know that you’re a safe place to go if they want to talk about body image and food-related concerns. If you’re not sure you have the tools to give your kids what they need, a registered dietitian who works with tweens and teens like myself  can help. 

Lesson Four: Set Good Examples

Be a good role model for your kids by showing them that you value body positivity for yourself. You can do this in a number of ways; how you nourish yourself, the type of movement you engage in, and the language you use when talking about food and your body all factor in here.

Keep in mind that this might be hard to do if you have your own body image struggles. Kids tend to emulate their parents, both in thoughts and in actions. If your own relationship with food and your body could use some work or you want support for navigating your own relationship with your body while also supporting your child, it may be a good idea to explore working with a professional like a nutrition therapist or registered dietitian.

Remember not to assign labels to foods as you do this. Instead, explain how certain foods provide the nutrients needed to keep the body strong and healthy. Encourage children to listen to their bodies, recognizing hunger and fullness cues without making them positive or negative.

Lesson Five: Establish Consent and Boundaries

Consent is a fundamental concept that children should understand from an early age. It involves respecting a person’s right to choose their own body and personal space. Kids should know that their bodies are their own, and that they are in charge of them – full stop.

Explain that they are allowed (rather, encouraged) to say “yes” or “no” to hugs, kisses, and any physical contact with another person, even if that person is a family member. Grandma wants a hug but your kid doesn’t feel like it? No problem; no hugs today.Reinforce the idea that kids have control over their bodies and that they never have to engage in any physical contact they’re not comfortable with.

Encourage your kids to use words like “I don’t like that” or “I’m not comfortable with this” to assert their boundaries. Teach them to listen when others express their boundaries, emphasizing the importance of mutual respect in relationships.

Additionally, discuss the importance of consent in non-physical contexts, such as sharing personal information, photos, or secrets. Teach children that it’s okay to say “no” when someone asks for information they are uncomfortable sharing. This includes information about what size clothes they wear and what their weight is.

Join The Wellful Community

It’s hard to teach kids how to have a positive relationship with food and their bodies. That’s why I created a course specifically designed to address just that. This webinar is a good fit for anyone who wants to pass on a healthier relationship with food and their body to young people. Register for the class here and take the first step towards instilling a positive body image for your kids today.

If you’re looking for support for your tween, teen, or yourself in passing on or developing a more positive relationship with food and their bodies, I also offer individual and family consults. You can schedule a free discovery call to chat more. 

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